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Reddit i want to get married. Since 4 years ago, I aspired to get married.


Reddit i want to get married That being said I don't want to get married anytime soon and the girls here in the south scare me with their willingness to be married now. If marriage doesn't feel like a chore that doesn't necessarily mean that only one person is doing the work, it might just mean that the people in the marriage are fine with the price they pay for what they get. We both don't want kids so I'm I'm not putting that pressure on him btw. My GF 26 and I (25) have been going out for 6 years. Edit: I’ll bet you $100 that when she says she was wrong to say that about getting other guys, it’s not because it’s hugely disrespectful and abusive thing to say to you, but rather that she literally couldn’t find another guy who would put up with her while you two were broken up. His family won’t let me move in with him unless we get married first. I'll trust her on that. We got married because we wanted to - which frankly I think is the only reason that should actually matter. As to why I married him. If you’re not ready to get married, then don’t. It involves zero cops and only as many lawyers as you want involved. I kind of regret not going with the no bridal party thing now, but either way it'll work out and it's not I want to get married, I just physically can't. Or the fact that people have to say "happily married" because the default is not taken as this. Do not bully or harass other users. Marriage is supposed to be a celebration of the committed relationship you have, not something that ties you down. While I do believe that if someone wants to marry you, they will, it sounds like your partner perhaps learned a few lessons from his previous marriage and wants to approach it differently this time. I wanted to say that is it okay that I don't ever want to get married. Avoiding marriage not an excuse to not commit, it's an acknowledgement that there is a 50% chance of failure and if failure does occur, a 70% chance that it will be initiated by you, and that being married ads a tremendous amount of potential for financial ruin and other consequences. My parents had a good, life-long marriage and many people I know have a good marriage. I know I also don't want kids so far and if I ever decide to have kids, I would adopt when financially stable even if It is built that way. I’m a 24f and I only date to marry, however, lately, the men I’ve gone out on dates don’t want to get married which leads me Follow reddit rules. Been together for 10 years now, we got engaged in 2019 and I always told him I wanted to get married. It could be the lack of freedom. Trust me, I’ve been married for many many years. He knows I want to and has said we should think of marriage as split into two categories: the relationship one where we live together, have kids, ect and then A contract. If I were to get married, i would want to wait a few years to just be married before having kids. I've gone NC with most of them, but still. The idea of marriage is awful to me. i dont need to make life altering decisions (marriage, kids My own parents didn't get married until I was a teen (they didn't have the best relationship with each other or their kids but growing up, I did find out a lot of people said cruel things about my siblings and I, as "bastards"). However if that's the case and you want to be married, then screw what anyone else things about how it looks. I recommend getting the “do you want kids someday” out of the way before you even date (and absolutely before you have sex with someone - You don't have to marry. I have several disabilities, mental and physical, and if I get married, I would lose my health insurance, any possibility of SSI, food assistance, and therefore would not be able to afford to live. Not “someone was a bad guy” deal breakers, but it wouldn’t be fair to ask her to lose out on those experiences, and it wouldn’t be fair to you to force you into a lifestyle you know doesn’t suit you. I've never heard a compelling reason to get married as someone who wishes to be completely independent. I don’t know why I’m unhappy but I feel like a bird in a cage. Makes us a little more free to do whatever we want - get married, don't get married, just live together, have kids, or not, or just opt out of the whole thing. You should want to get married for a woman and not search for a woman to get married. As long as you don’t base your avoidance of marriage on religious purposes, it will be ok. If you want to, get married, if you don't want to, don't. Since, if my partner makes over a certain amount, I wouldn't qualify for those benefits I told my parents and all hell broke loose. Maybe you can have it at home or in a restaurant with 10 people. You never have enough money to have children. Being married you have the potential to make a lot more money, but you are also at risk of losing a lot. Don't overthink it. So I did reject couple of proposals around when I was 24-26. Some people don’t need it to be legally official, but we did. People gotta remember prenups are for and if you ever get divorced not for during the commitment. It already feels like we’re married - We’ve lived together for 5 years, we have a shared back account, and we’ve made it through some seriously pressing life situations. modern dating culture, and from all these articles you find online, show that guys are anti-commitment, and may not want to get married anymore. So if she wants to get married, let her be with somebody she can marry. I never want to get married. You can’t get married and keep SSI. When this marriage thing started like matrimony apps. It feels weird to me. He was clear about not wanting to get married and yet you wasted 8 years of your life waiting for something that will never happen. it’s ok to not want to have marriage as a goal We’ve been together for six years through some pretty tough situations. You just tell them that when you decide you wanna get married, you'll be the one yo let your girlfriend know. There's nothing wrong with waiting a few more years to get married. They have fought as long as I can remember and both have been very vocal about how they would have preferred divorce, if it weren’t for us kids and the fact that they’re part of the generation that views divorce as I was never the "dream about future wedding" type. It's fine and It's not weird to want to get married (although, depending on where in SE you are, it's true that a lot of secular young people are walking away from marriage because it offers little practical In one Reddit thread, real people revealed why they decided to get married after being together for a short time, and how it's worked out for them. There’s also nothing wrong with doing that if you just really want to get married! Sending hugs Reply reply This phrase is stupid, yet people always say it. Neither of us want(ed) to get married from the start, because we both come from split families and trauma. I don’t want kids either. However, he’s been married before and due to this he has told me he doesn’t want to for a while. I got married at 31 and only did it because I didn't want to have kids without marriage (I am technically an immigrant so there's some better protections). Couldn't one say that those who purposely avoid getting married are unwilling to put their faith in the other person? The bottom line is that there are both right and wrong reasons to get married, and that those are different for everyone. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why some people like it and that's completely okay! Hell, I liked it too at some points, which is why I came back to check it out. However if you don’t want kids (I don’t either but that’s like the number one reason people get married in my experience), want to protect your finances, etc, then I don’t think marriage is an automatic choice and it’s only something you should get if you have reasons for wanting it. I wanted to be a hardworking and educated woman with Marriage is a legal institution, in addition to whatever personal meaning we give it; if you aren't ready to be your BF's closest legal family, you should not get married right now. i have stated no i don't want to marry him, as i can't see myself with him and every time i think about being in a relationship with him it makes me not want to go ahead with it. There’s many factors that go into deciding who gets what in a divorce. I was about 20 when I realized I didn't have to do that if I didn't want to. It doesn't mean she'll actually get married. If you've only met once your not ready to get married. Besides, if we are still together 10 years down the line and have a healthy relationship, then I already have what I need. yo i know this is a year old but i dont get how this works, people will act different if they know you both have the intention of getting married. After one year getting to know her, I brought the idea to my parents. I’m 24F, ever since I was a kid I have been saying I would never want to get married. Don’t even want to live with someone ever again. I’m 26 now, so we’ve been together for the better half of a decade. We talked about marriage and both agreed we want to be with each other for the rest of our lives and she is the person I want to marry. I definitely want a partner and relationship but I totally agree on the actual legal marriage part. Now my parents are pressurising me to get married, since I have got a job. When I say I want to get married and have a family before 30, 99% of my friends (22-25 yrs old) would disagree with me and try to convince me out, believing family and marriage are traps. now my parents won't even allow me to apply for part time jobs. We planned everything, dress, reception, photographer etc. Or, option B. The only times when I was dreaming about marrying someone was when I was infatuated with guys it never worked out with. People like to tell you what your beliefs should be so it can be a pretty agitating conversation. I'm just past the age where starting a family is a valid option. I also don't want a step dad for my kids nor do I want to be a step parent or have any type of blended family. However I don't want to break up with her either. Since 4 years ago, I aspired to get married. Wanting to get married = a parameter that is totally reasonable to put on relationship compatibility. e, do you want to find someone yourself or do you want to get married to someone your parents find but want to wait some more years? Telling that to your parents might calm them down. I just have no interest anymore. Some here seem to argue that people want to get married to trap their partner. You don't have to be married to live together or do most things. I started dating my girlfriend when I was 18. There are a lot of ways to get the special people in your life together, and they will want to celebrate that you’ve found each other. I personally do not want to get married. Do you mean that you don't want to get married to me? Do you not want to get married to anyone ever? Or do you just not want to get married any time soon? What are your reasons?" He may have misconceptions about marriage and your expectations. You either accept the fact that you guys are just going to be common law, or cut your losses and find someone who want to get married and settle down with you. From their perspective, their biggest concerns are - Hey, all. So you don’t want to get married purely because you’re afraid you’ll lose everything in a divorce. I don't want to get married because of loneliness as I like to explore/meet different people and never felt lonely even when I am alone. Now, you can set up all of those things without getting married (or almost all of them) but it would be good to talk to a lawyer about it instead of me, as I am just a rando on the internet. I don’t wish to be a millionaire and successful. You do you. You never have enough money to get married. He clearly doesn’t want to get married, but maybe he wanted to give you the surprise of a proposal and a ring? Or maybe he was pressured into doing it, since it was on a family vacation (= not just the two of you). The amount of years you've been together in an LDR isn't relevant. My favourite idea has always been a backyard wedding - one friend had a “housewarming” which ended up as a “we got married this morning” party, another just hired a curry truck and a coffee van. If you're not ready, and there's no reason why you should be at just 18, then you're not ready and she'll have to either accept it or find someone else to marry. H and I live in a country that legally recognizes de facto relationships as well. Same, I don't want to get married cause I feel that marriage will be associated with breaking my freedom, I know that might be somewhat selfish but I don't want to end up working alot to provide the living of a family, as a free person, I can do alot whenever I wish, I (إنشاء الله) will be financially secured that I will pay sadka alot and help others in their life (halal purposes of I know when you get married it completes your Deen but my (21f) parents have been pressuring me into starting the search and eventually getting married but I just don't want to get married. My husband married his high school sweetheart at 25, but divorced at 26 because she felt she never got to “sow her wild oats” or whatever. I sorta rambled for a while but I elected to tell him the truth which was no, I didn't want to get married and I agreed because I felt like I had to. But I guess it's just my upbringing. With regard to marriage, people are of three types: 1 – Some fear that they may fall into haraam things if they do not get married. I told her that single women live longer and tend to be happier than married women and that marriage is patriarchal, designed to subjugate women, but she still wants to get married. I just don't know what to think or do about this. I want to be married, but I don't want the ceremony, absolutely none of it. Don’t want kids. This doesn’t come from a place of bitterness; rather, a life of lessons learned. Before I met my fiancé I didn't think I'd ever get married but the right person can I want to get married so I can experience the family life I never had before. Keep reading to also find a conversation with marriage therapist Dr. If we were dating for a few years, I may wait a bit, but we’ve been together for a pretty long time and I don’t necessarily want to wait until after residency to get married. And I need/crave alone time to recharge. We got married when we did because we were in the military. There are many communities out there for single people and you can live a good life. The rules are impossible. P. It's fine not to get married. But for your mental health in the future, please make an effort to make some friends. I have no doubt they are true. Three years later we Marriage is often more to show your family that you're meeting societal expectations and I am uncomfortable with that being the reason to get married 🤷‍♀️. Yea I understand that, but islamically many people get married after never meeting someone alone. Think of what you want the rest of your life to look like. A friend of mine got married at 19 and it was a disaster. We got married in the US both as foreign citizens because it was too complex to get married as expats living in the Netherlands. I say this speaking from personal experience. I'm always in a hurry to do stuff, once I make my mind up. Marriage takes two willing people. Both just seem like a taxing drain with literally no reason to pursue them. Please make sure that's your genuine choice though and not because you avoided it from all the pressure or somehow want to "fight the system", that will ultimately lead to you being unhappy. My partner and I are around the same ages as you two, we now ended our LDR and live together since January. and if i’m ever so bored that i do, i’ll just get a new job. He dragged his feet, now his girlfriend doesn’t want to marry him anymore. In my head I had my whole life planned out. I refused and begged them to give me one year so that I can get financially stable and bulid my career properly but they they are blackmailing me by telling that I am not worried abou them and my father is getting old. Weddings were never intended to be a 20K + expense. Neither of us have religious or emotional connections to the idea of being married. I’ve never wanted kids. Cheaters can change their spots, Reddit user shmarcussss asked, "What's the benefit of being married over just being together forever?" Here's what people had to say: 1. Was married . Also, divorce is not always biased against men as you’d think. And I personally also hold a lot of like, burden issues I guess you could say? Where I don't want to pass on anything to anyone if something were to happen to me, so I don't want him to be impacted by my student loans for example or be bogged down by healthcare costs. I don’t get married not to keep my lousy benefits but because I need access to doctors. Its something I felt rushed into, and then it destroyed my life for years. But he says he isn’t ready to get married yet. Getting into a dress, walking down the aisle, saying vows, just isn't my thing. its a very personal decision, albeit born of a certain frustration and intimate knowledge of what it really takes for marriage and kids to work, the resources, the exhaustion, the stress, the chaos—i dont want that for myself. Statistically speaking, most people who get married here, in the US, will get divorced. No paperwork! He doesn’t want to get married through the state. Also, I don’t want to be married to anyone because there’s too much to lose in the divorce that I’m sure will eventually come. I'm old fashioned, I want to get married. I definitely want his and my parents to meet but to my family that would be a confirmed marriage. When I was married to my ex husband, the thought of spending the rest of my life with him filled me with nameless dread and a deep sense of unease and grief. I am scared of growing up and getting married. If you don’t want to be married to a guy who does Y, say so, speak up. " Of course divorces happen but really marriage just feels like that to us, a big ass promise. Edit: Thank for the advice from everyone except the one telling me I'm selfish for not wanting kids, this is not about that. I've learned it's key to be patient and clear about what you want. I feel like as soon as I came to this conclusion, all that is talked about in my life is marriage. Such a person has to get married, according to the majority of fuqaha’, because he has to keep himself chaste and protect himself against doing haraam things, and the way to do that is getting married. My point is that you hear a lot of terrible marriage stories on reddit. Marriage is just all about money, there is no other motivation for getting married. Children of divorce tend to be jaded about marriage. SO, shortly after a suitor came for my hand and my parents especially my mum is adamant , that i marry him, basically telling me that i have to marry him whether i like it or not. However, having someone who wants to be married to you, feels great. If you find the right one and they really want to get married just ask for a prenup. You completely minimalized his experience, which his view point stems from. If both sides act in good faith, it would be equitable and fair. Also, I'm like, crazy poor. How do you get this far into a relationship without her knowing you don’t want kids or marriage? Those are both deal breakers. It's good that you want to hold off on kids right now. Get married. I didn’t want to get married to the wrong person. It's hard to say why. I want to experience the world and I don’t want to do it with him. I honestly can’t even see myself being with someone for multiple decades, let alone cohabiting. I was raised kind of strict, and living together wasn't really all that acceptable. But I don't really have a good reason why. Marriage can be dissolved or divorced for any reason at any time. I don’t think you need to want to have kids to get married. It DOES and it is exciting but that doesn’t take away all the anxiety I had about the wedding going well and if I was ready for marriage truly (I believe I was now). Only difference is you have to split or work out arrangements agreements for your financial I want the legal and financial protections of being married, but I also think marriage should have some kind of limited term with optional renewal, and an agreed upon process for not renewing. She has been hinting about getting engaged, is 25 too young to be engaged? I used to have a source of income doing an internship that i had to quit because i wouldn't get permission for both the job and postgrad. I grew up in a divorce, and I have quite a few family members who have been divorced, so I know what While marriage can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience for many people, it is not right for everyone. I'm 21 years old and when I see my friends or anyone getting married. Being a single E-6 though Getting married is a stressful time and I was so anxious planning the wedding I would get so mad when my mom would say I shouldn’t be so anxious because getting married should make me happy. I (25f) have always wanted to get married and have a family ever since I was a little girl. There Are Incidences Of Previous Infidelity. We have a lovely time and I pop the question - and she says she(F62) will think about it - but we both know she really means, "No". I just he understands and doesnt mistake it for cold feet. it takes constant courtship, constant work to make it work and last long. I love him but I also want to get married one day. Don’t want to get married. No one should get married if they're not ready. Help! My girlfriend wants to get married, but I don't want. But it's great because of the person i found, not because of marriage in As for your situation, are you clear on when you want to get married and how? i. I always say I just don’t want to be married, but that’s the reason. The most serious conclusion I’ve come to is that I don’t want to get married. I have wanted to be married to my husband for 10 years but we can’t even claim to live together or I’d lose my medical insurance and it would be my end. I think it’s equally on the person who doesn’t want marriage. I’ve known him for 6 years so we believe it’s long enough, from the ages of 15 to now 21 I didn’t really want to get married & he had been married before and didn’t want to do it again either. Fewer people want or can afford children. marriage is very hard. I have never really had much interest in relationships or wanted to ever get married. And let him know that if he’s made peace with not getting married and he doesn’t want to, then you’ll find a way to accept that. It is okay to want it and be sad if you can't have it It is also okay for him not to want it. It's okay to want to get married, if that's what you want. If you can’t see yourself with this person 5-10 years down the road then break up now and save the both of you years of unnecessary pain & heartache. But I don't see this as a bad thing at all. That’s it. I do want to be married again. I've suspected that she likes the idea of being married more than being married to me, but she's said otherwise. Marriage is a personal choice and personal choices are usually difficult to explain without going into the core of your beliefs. Anything else is extra and not necessary and a nice extra. I want the same. It’s fine not to get married, but know that it is highly recommended and encouraged to get married. But when I allowed myself to admit that I felt that a relationship with a man was essential to my happiness, it was like a weight was lifted off of me. Tell her that you never want to get married to her and end the relationship. That said, while I'd never interfere with anyone else's choice to get married, it's why marriage seems pointless to me. I don't want children and I don't feel I want a husband either. Allah just gives us the choice so if we do have relations, they won’t have bad consequences. I was clear, I don't want to get married. There seems like a simple solution to this -> get married . If you tell border officers that you are coming over to get married, I would just be sure to have plenty of evidence to show you have intent to return to your home country and not commit visa fraud. And the fact they want to I’ve been dropping hints (more like throwing them) at him that I want to move in with him, but there’s a problem. My parents is happily married and I don't have any trauma or bad experience. Your friend isn't in your shoes so she can't really know what your priorities are. Between my ex and his mother , they've guaranteed I will never ever get married again . Seems like from my experience less and less men want to get married because they can get everything they Skip to main content. their demeanor can change after marrige and they might be a completley different person then how they presented themselves. I'm 25 years old and while that might not actually be that old I can tell you I have never felt the want or need for either marriage or kids. My SO want a ceremony, although he's on the same page of wanting something small (although his immediate family is 15 people right there). If he says “I don’t want to be married to a woman who does X”, respect that. She can want to get married all she wants. You make trade-offs in marriage, you make trade-offs when you're single. That’s my biggest fear about relationships and marriage. Unless you cannot imagine living apart from the guy ever again, don’t get married. They’re both valid and reasonable. If you’re content being alone so be it. Was being the operative word. I definitely never want to get married again, will not have more kids (I'm mid 40s though) and wouldn't be arsed working towards a mortgage in this market. I just want to know if anyone else feels the same way about it, because I think I'm about to explode with so much rage for this series right now, lmao I am 28 year old female and I got a job 1 month ago . I don't oppose people not getting married, your choice thats cool, my uncle and aunt have been together 26 years, 3 kids and still happy together just never wanted to get married. We lived together for 5 years before signing paperwork with a JOP. I [31m ] am divorced and dont want to get married again. My sister is married and I honestly happy for her. Marriage is a big deal, for sure! Finding someone ready to settle down can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack sometimes. "I think it's a sign of commitment. These comments are so So I have to say as an introvert myself, it's absolutely unhealthy to have no friends other than your significant other. You can get a marriage license at any clerks office of your choice. When I tell people, even Muslims, that I preserve myself for marriage, they are laughing at me and tell me that it's just nonsense to do this. And they stayed together and now that he is ready for marriage, shes staying with him when she knows she doesn't want marriage at all. Maybe you'll get married, maybe you won't. I don’t need his A lot of men don’t want to get married. Everything is ready, pandemic hit us and we needed to postpone the wedding. Or My church brothers keep pressuring me to get married and I get what they're saying and I always just respond with Song of Solomon 8:4 but the real reason I don't want to get married is because I always see married men become sycophants to their wives. Even for the Muslim girls I know, none want to get married now. He asked me after I'd sobered up if that was true and if so, why'd I agree. I want to run away and not come back. Exactly. She is finishing medical school and I have a stable job we good income. I was married YEARS ago and knew it wasn’t for me. If you think that you won't want to, or be ready to commit to So for some prefacing, my parents didn’t have a happy marriage. I mean, I can understand them, but why is it so hard to try to not have an illicit relationship nowadays. I just assumed I would grow up and get married one day because that's what everyone does. Marriage and children can feel like very unattainable dreams because there's so much you can't control. or get on a flight to somewhere beautiful. Women have more financial and legal independence. My family is harassing me more often, from 2 hours away, for some reason lately. They also say we haven’t known each other long enough and to get engaged and get married after 2 years, so they can get their siblings involved which is something I don’t want. Until I was 35 I swore I did not want children. So if OP doesn't want to get married, she likely doesn't want to be with him, and that's healthy. If that’s something that OP wants, then she shouldn’t feel like she has to give up because that doesn’t exist. She decided she'd still date me. Esp to those who aren't religious, it's a ceremony I know two generations of women who were never given middle names, and they all made their maiden name into their middle name after getting married! I'm not sure how I feel about them assuming that their daughters would want to change their name (or even get married at all), but I thought it was a neat family tradition. Marriage: I've seen too many people get shit on after a divroce. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. We are committed now to be together - and so I(M58) thought, let's get married. At that age, if you want to get married, you should only be dating partners who want the same. Keep living your life how you want because really what do I know. Wait a few years, you’re young right now, but it’s highly likely that you’ll be wanting to Kids: Meh, I'm getting pretty old now. I didn't care about a big wedding, i just wanted to be married and get on The trend has been declining for years, and unless we have some situation where people feel more obligated to get married (or if the outcome of the current situations such as Covid make more people want to get married as a result I guess) it’ll probably continue. Expand user menu Open settings menu. It is perfectly legal for you to enter on ESTA, get married and then return to your home country and file the i-130. I think children deserve and needs parents who actually want them and I don't want them, I don't want Eh, everything is a trade-off. How do you feel now and how will you feel then? Then decide if it is a deal breaker for you. If I were to get married - and I say maybe, because my SO would like to be married someday - I'd need a bunch of legal stuff to cover my financial setting (and his, frankly, because I don't want him to walk away with nothing, just not everything, let's Legal marriage is just a license you get from your local government building. They don’t want me to marry him as I am “too young” but they have always said to me I need to be married before 25. Find a partner, not a housewife. I for example will inform people it’s unlikely that I can have my own children/give them biological children due to medical reasons from the get go as most people do want children. Log In / Sign Up; Advertise on Reddit; Women don't have to depend on a man, and a man doesn't necessarily want a dependent. I know many folks in Europe who never get married. So, I spend ages planning it and take her away to Seville for the weekend. Indeed, in scripture it is written Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. Make sure you let them also know that pressuring you into it only makes them clearly appear like a woman who doesn't qualify for marriage, and a woman whom no one would want as a mother in law. I've personally never wanted to get married, but that's because I didn't want to be or feel "tied" down. It’s not that I even want to be with someone else, I just don’t want the marriage, kids, and white picket fenced house. 1 There are stories of female saints refusing to marry and in some cases being martyred for it—Saint Agnes If you think, before you get married that you do not want to marry the person, don’t. However, if you feel that she's "pressuring" you, that's not good either, and it's unfair. Fact is we only truly get to know our partners once we've lived together for a while. You don’t want to get married for valid reasons and she wants to get married for her reasons. Welcome to AskWomenOver30, an inclusive Reddit community where people can ask question to and discuss topics with women over the age of 30. Or he may never want to get married and has his own reasons. but now that we can reschedule the wedding, he told me he doesn't want to get married anymore. I have a lot of gfs who want to get married and have kids, but they can’t find men who want that. Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home. I do want to get married. I love her and I know I want to marry her, but I’m scared out of my mind about divorce. But people change throughout their life. You should never feel pressured into doing . If you don’t want to get married because you want the comfort a single lifestyle affords, just say that. I believe even at 50, I will have lot of Marriage may be a symbol of commitment but the divorce rate has turned that symbol into a joke. It's going pretty well, but two out of four of them have finals the week of my wedding, which is on a Friday, so they might not make it at all. She asked me to tell her when I change my mind to not get married and I'm back at not really wanting to, so I might tell her soon. Which bring back to my question, - Is it okay if I don't want to get married, ever?. Any specific questions you have about marriage? A wedding is a wedding only when 2 people get married. I love being married, it's great. Don't marry because you feel you should do it. I came from a normal family. If you want to marry someone, get married, don’t make excuses while you wait to see if someone better comes along, then be shocked when your SO doesn’t hang around waiting for you to make up your mind. This whole "45% of first marriages end in divorce but it means I don't love my partner if I acknowledge it might happen to us too" thing is so fucking dumb and so, so risky. Like they want the commitment only to you, and vice versa. My dad was sure that my son can easily get married as he's handsome and same was with my mom. I don't want children. Period. That would make both of you unhappy. I really want to get through to her that I'm willing to take these steps, just not as soon as she wants. They're there for as long as they want to be there whether they're married or not. I don't know about a "bad sign" and furthermore, I don't understand why guys have to freak out about marriage either; you don't want to get married? Don't. You wanted to get married and he does not. remembering this will go a long way. Combine this with the fact that there are more divorces, trust issues, etc. If OP ever does want to or choose to get married, it should be to someone who is her equal, and who nourishes and supports her. That does not mean that OP has to its very hard to promise not to get a divorce. Great scholars and pious men never married. So m was into astro, that pushed away certain girls and did delay a bit. People roll their eyes when I say that like it’s ridiculous not to ever want to get married again but after seeing the institution of it totally fail (my stbx had an affair and left me for her) I just don’t see the need for the legalities. I've been single for 2 years and like being single and feel like I don't want to get married anymore. S: I am not emotionally dependent on others, I don't want to get married for sex. BAH, BAS, you get to live in a house or apartment instead of the one room barracks where you will live with another soldier(s) who you may or may not like. I’m not putting that much into anything just to be let down. I don’t wish for a perfect future husband. You don't need to run away because she brings it up. After marriage literally nothing about our relationship changed. If you want to maybe leave the door open for getting married later, you can discuss couples counseling and what you need to feel ready to commit as well as postponing the wedding. Wrong. It’s OK if you don’t wanna get married, nobody should have to get married that doesn’t want to. If marriage matters to you, you should tell him. Even the most stable Wondering when to get married? Find yourself saying "I want to get married?" Here are 19 signs that prove you're ready for marriage, according to relationship experts. His response to me not wanting children was that he wouldn’t break up with me “yet” since he doesn’t want them right now he’d just wait to leave me till he’s ready to have kids. Their marriage is broken but somehow they still think “everyone needs to get married” and I will be a disgrace in the family if I’m not getting married before my late 20s. Don’t get married if you don’t want to, don’t ruin someone else’s life because you think religion forces you to. I was fine as it's If you genuinely never feel ready and don't want to get married because of choice, so be it. I want to feel secure in the relationship and not like the guy has one foot out the door and the least little thing is going to make him walk. I've seen a lot of people get married and a lot divorced while I was in the military and my best advice is be together longer than a year before marrying. Also, above all consider your values. noone goes into marriage thinking they will get divorced. All the things a marriage would entail and This is Reddit's very own solution-hub. and BOTH of you have to know this. r/AskMen A chip A close button. I found a Muslim sister who was a good friend of my sister. We both talk like we genuinely do want to marry each other someday, but both of us have the same idea that marriage means "I'm telling you, and promising you, that I want this relationship to last for as long as we live. As for having a vision of where you want to be before you get married, that is fine. Also, don't rush it; good things take time. However this is very likely a deal breaker conversation, because ultimately you’re both talking about how the next step goes, and if marriage is a 100% no for you and a 100% yes for her, then you need to let eachother go so you can both find Marriage basically gives you and your partner a whole bunch of rights/protections. We got married, but only because I needed to get on his health insurance. I might push it off a year for every under 25 person I know that settles down. I feel like the reasons I could list to get married would work equally as well to just co-habitating in a common law situation. I think marriage provides the ultimate companionship and commitment. I have been under so much stress that my period has not stopped for almost 4 months. If they have personality issues you don’t like now, they will get worse over time, not better. I was a bit drunk some nights ago and told my BF that I didn't think I wanted to get married. You just need to marry someone who also wants kids. At the end of of day, as long as you and your betrothed get married, it'll be a great day. Thank you all in advance <3 I (21f) really want to get married but I’m a college student and I know how my family will react to it by saying you View community ranking In the Top 1% of largest communities on Reddit. If you are not enthusiastically thinking about getting married to someone, don’t marry them. I'm not saying u lol, in my case idc about marriage it all depends on if she wants to get married but a prenup it's a must for me bc if we ever get divorced I want my shit back. It seems like as time has gone on, marriage has become less and less appealing. I'll tell you what my parents told me. No need for a huge todo. If he’s excited and he wants to get married some day too, then you talk next steps. But imagine yourself in 10 years then 20 or 50 and you and he are together but not married. He was also really worried about that stigma, and swore he’d never get married again. it cant be one sided. Advice for young Muslims who want to get married . Marriage does not guarantee partnership forever or through thick or thin or through health or sickness. That is not the fault of anyone on Reddit. my boyfriend recently told me he didn’t want to get married after I told him I didn’t want children. I hate how they started to bring up how I’d need to get married when not long ago they wanted me to focus on school and not to think of dating anyone. Get app Get the Reddit app Log In Log in to Reddit. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. There are several reasons why marriage might not be a good idea for some individuals: Men on Reddit have been discussing all of the reasons they’ve never wanted to get married, so we've gathered some of their most thoughtful replies. Or the 50% of marriages that fail in the UK. I'm not talking weeks and months. I will never trust anyone that much again plus ij finally have the life experience to make me know i deserve to be treated way better than they did and the only person I can trust to give me that is myself Yes! Same boat. . So he's not told you that he doesn't ever want marriage, just not yet?. there is nothing wrong with the I was in a hurry to get married, too. I don't see why you would want to get married unless you're 100% sure you know what you're getting, which most people aren't 100% sure (thought they should be), which is why most people don't get married. There are of course exceptions to the rule, but these are not common. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. This a a horrible habit, I know, but I kinda think this is like defense mechanism to not getting married. But we met one another & everything fell into place like magic & we just couldn’t wait. Whatever it is, you have to straighten I would be fine with not marrying, but if you want to get married and it’s important to you, you might reconsider you relationship. My parents are encouraging me to get a boyfriend so l'll be married by late 20s. I told her that you can't always be certain of things and I may want to get married in the future, but right now I don't know. my dad started searching for marriage proposals from August right when my internship started, they tortured me for going and my mom saying I don't care for marriage, I don't see the point, if I meet someone and they really want to get married after a certain amount of years I would get married but if marriage didn't matter to them then we won't get married. Wanting marriage is currently a more standard assumption than the opposite. It's very common to not marry in Sweden and even in the UK. 18 year old from a broken family doesn‘t want to get married. I want to get married when I feel energised and excited about it again, so I plan to speak to him to see if we can delay it further, just until I get some mental strength back. Also have a conversation with your partner before getting engaged. Also, OP - it's really OK to not want to get married. Don’t put people down or search for a justification by trying to build a case women are horrible humans—just be you, man. It’s super simple, we eloped in Illinois just fill in the form online and go early morning no need for appointment. I dont want to get married again, but its one of those things that are symbolic. sometimes your fate is forced. divorce rate is like 54% and i think its climbing. Getting married to have / raise / legally protect children I don't get why everyone is so negative about op not being ready for marriage. He has two main reasons: The first is that He will be making significantly more money than me someday. I get ya. I have an appointment to get seen, but the specialists that take Medicaid are few and far between. qznh gtz htyheeb kul fuj dkqgpp ijh mcbezeog ugbln hnfbjh